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I am...


Depression is only the reality that we ignore but over time it's what we have to face. Realizing the choices you have made has placed you in a moment that's hard to stomach and bitter to the taste.


Depression is the past making itself relevant, constantly reminding you of what you can't escape  stripping you of ambition locking you deep in the depths of sorrow leaving you with questions of your fate.


Depression is the alcohol that burns the soul disguised as relief, a break from reality or therapy. Shots that penetrates the core of your being; elevating you to a place of no feeling, no care and no weight to bear.


I am the reflection of what I've ignored but now this mirror is like a movie showing me my mistakes. Now I realize that time has made me bitter, passing down an overflow of thoughts I can't get rid of.


I am the very thing I once was, thinking and taking steps to change, with failure as my best friend I've remained the same. Isolation is where I find comfort, consumed in thoughts asking where peace will come from.


I am the drinker that likes his liquor straight to chase away the demons disguised as thoughts I've tried to escape. Shot after shot, the liquid races through my body sprinting into my inter being. Taking me away for a brief but relaxing moment of relief.


I am afraid and I am stressed. They say the best way to get over your fears is to face them.

Well I am here .....I am depressed.



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I Deserve It


Someone else is what you deserve don't just listen but take notice to my words. These words could save you from stressing and yelling.

 I know that my credentials and dimples are appealing but to you another side I'm revealing....behind my smile is what you don't see...which is me the real me and not who I lead you to see...unseen intentions an aggressive persistence is what you should fear....don't make this too easy read between the line of what you hear....

I gave you a warning if you let it happen...
You deserve it...

So I creep, creep from place to place telling myself this is a game that never ends and I can play on and on and on...

telling her I love her when I never even liked her...talks of futures plans with intentions of a one night stands...doing all the right things making you proud to say you're involved with this man...slipping and sliding unprotected hoping not to get infected telling myself she bad so my mind accepts it....

Over time I'm making my value to you worthless. A deceiving reputation of love vs. lust having ability to make her blush and crush but an unhappy ending will be the result....From each woman giving me their heart to break...I’m wondering how much can they take? A good man with bad habits he can't shake, but hey

I gave you a warning and you let it happen so...
You deserve it...

I think it's time to call Tyrone...

cuz the one woman who had a place in heart is gone...

Come on and help me get my shit...together I'm being chased by lies and half-truths and problem that we could never get to the root….. of

.true love is what it never was...if I loved you I would only need you to satisfy my sexual needs and the comfort from the opposite sex ...relationships are so complex

the needs pleasure passion and pain….  
The pleasure of knowing that the other is putting in the same amount of effort as you...to make things work...the pleasure of truly having a better half, someone that you look at and see all the qualities you lack....

The passion when you both touch....time is yours to slow down or speed up, being lost in the moment with the one person you're most comfortable with and the one you fully express yourself to...the passion of the slow kisses, bite, moans, screams and hair pulls that makes the sex so good.
The pain that allows you to love, knowing how it feels to be hurt and knowing that you hurt someone deeply experiencing the pain of not knowing, insecurities, judging and disappointments….
The pain is the reason why I'll be ready to love one day...hurting the one thing I said I cared about ...who am I ,who am I I'm not the type to cause pain, then again I knew what I was doing all along...and she found someone else
...... But I guess I deserve it...


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Tainted Mind


The mind is like a field with rich soil waiting for seeds to be planted...

It's a place where you can create a world that you alone have control over...

losing control is always the road to failure and disaster...the mind can imprison you with your thoughts allusions and seeds that have been planted...does your mind belong to you?


How would you know? Are the things that you've learned heard or seen what they really are... Or are they merrily false implementation of the truth.

Then you have to ask what truth is? If the things we've known to be true are proven to be false then right and wrong has a fine line that can easily be crossed...right?


Believing is far more important than we know; believing in whatever it may be dictates you, your actions, your way of life, and even the mind...



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